Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have feelings that need drinking.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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