I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
