you win again, gameday.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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