i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
