So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
