My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
