i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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