Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
