She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
