Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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