Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
