Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
