My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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