Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I want to fling myself into the sun
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
