wanna go halves on a baby?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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