We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
