He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
