One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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