I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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