Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
