what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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