yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Sober January is a disaster.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
