We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
