he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
