I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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