oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
