why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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