I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
