I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
