Dual....:-)
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize