just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
