She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
