You smell like stripper and shame
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
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