grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
