Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
