Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
