K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
