Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize