so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
