He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
