btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
