How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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