Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize