Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
