found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
