Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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