Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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