the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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