wanna go halves on a baby?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
