So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
