And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
