Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize