He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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