And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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