there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
