Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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