Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
