the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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