the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We talked him into tasing himself.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
