Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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