Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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