just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
