I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
