dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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