they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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