my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize