if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
