After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
