38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
