Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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